I was arrested on drug charges in Iran. I wasn’t addicted and only used occasionally. My ex husband, who was afraid I may demand him to pay my dowry, turned me in. Being condemned on a drug charge meant that he could legally avoid paying my dowry. I lost many things. I had a good job opportunity, but the imprisonment destroyed that as well.
I was taken to the notorious Qarchak prison, south of Tehran, which was originally an avicultural facility and turned into a prison with minimal changes.
We were 11 women when we entered. Most of us were young and a few were middle aged. When we arrived, the guards — who were all gorilla-like men — took us to a room and ordered us to undress. At first I thought they only wanted us to take off our Mantuas. We were even uncomfortable with that, but did it anyhow. But when we were done, they ordered us to get fully naked. I couldn’t believe it. We were hesitant at first, so they started threatening us and said if we refuse, not only they will forcefully do it, but also penetrate us with batons from both sides, and started waving their batons in the air. We were very scared and helpless, so we did what they asked.
We dropped everything we were wearing on the floor and covered our bodies with hands. The guards said aside from clothes, we should take off everything, including brackets, watches, necklaces, rings and barrettes. Some of us had such things. I still had my wedding ring and a necklace, both of them made of gold, plus an expensive watch. We dropped those as well.
They picked those up along with our purses and openly distributed our money and jewelry among themselves in front of us. We were too scared to protest.
Their commander gave us a threatening and humiliating speech. I don’t want to bore and disgust you with the details, but his main point was that we were his slaves and he was free to do anything he wished to us. He said that every punishment will be a group punishment, regardless of who has disobeyed him or violated his rules. Every time he explained something, he asked if he had made himself clear, and the guards forced us to say “yes sir!” loudly.
Some of us had already started crying by this point. We were standing there naked, barely covering our bodies with hands.
When he was done, he pointed out that he understood we were “big girls” with certain needs. He said it’s his job to take care of our needs, and he is determined to do so whether we like it or not. I had no Idea what he was talking about and only wished that awful situation would end soon. But I found out what he meant soon and that awful situation only got worse and much longer.
There was a long concrete seating place in the room, probably left from when the prison was an avicultural facility. There was enough place for all of us to sit on it, and the guards ordered us to do so. We sat on that cold and dirty concrete surface. Their commander ordered us to spread our legs and masturbate in front of them.
The girls who hadn’t started crying yet, started to do so, and those who were already crying, cried louder and almost screamed. The only exceptions were me and a middle aged woman who had been to prison before. In her case, she was experienced and hardened, but in my case, not crying was not out of bravery or anything like that. I was physically and mentally paralyzed. I think my blood pressure had dropped so much that I couldn’t see colors anymore. I was shaking and seeing everything in black and white. Later, the others told me I was so pale that I looked like a white plaster statue. I was too helpless to even cry.
The commander screamed his order again and the guards waved their batons in the air. Some of the women were so scared that started rubbing their fingers on their vaginas, as if they were masturbating. The woman who had been to prison before quietly told us to follow the orders and began touching herself. I was motionless. A few others weren’t doing it either.
The guards reminded us that every punishment will be a group punishment, no matter who has disobeyed, and no one will leave until we have all done it. That woman told us to do it again. The few that had hesitated started doing it, but I was still motionless. I think the fear and shame had paralyzed me.
One of the guards realized that I wasn’t doing it. He stood in front of me and said: “This one is disobeying. Let’s teach them all a lesson about disobeying!”
As soon as I heard that, I started touching myself with haste. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of me. When their commander saw that, he said: “No, they are new. Just give them a second.”
We were all touching ourselves, but in a very artificial way, along with crying. That didn’t satisfy the guards. They ordered us to spread our legs as far as we could, loudly moan for them and play with our breasts with the other hand. I did what they asked but didn’t look at the others. I had closed my eyes out of fear and shame, but since in a few seconds the sounds of crying turned into moaning, I believe everyone did what they ordered.
The commander warned us that he is not satisfied with our performance, and said if we don’t do it right, we’ll waste all the efforts. The guards began inspecting us one by one to make sure we were doing it properly. They gave instructions like “do it faster”, “push your finger harder”, “moan louder”, “play with your breasts” and comments like “this one is too hairy”, “this one’s breasts are too big”, “this bitch is enjoying it”. They made sure every woman was doing what they asked before moving to the next one.
I was the last person. As I said, I had closed my eyes, so I didn’t know what they expected exactly. It turned out that I wasn’t doing it to their satisfaction at all. They tried to instruct me to do it as they wanted, but I was unable to do so. Their commander said: “No, no … I was wrong about her. She isn’t even trying. She is clearly disobeying. I warned you bitches that if anyone doesn’t do it right, all your efforts are wasted. This bitch has wasted all your efforts. So, it’s time for your punishment!”. I wasn’t crying before, but I burst into tears as I heard that.
The others begged: “No! Please! That’s enough! We can’t take it anymore!”. I even heard one voice saying “She is doing it on purpose! She wants us to suffer!”
The commander said: “Shut up! You two-faced whores! She is your friend! If she can’t do it, you are obligated to help her!”
Then, he ordered me to lean back on the concrete surface, spread my legs upwards and hold them apart with my hands. After that, he ordered the other women to come to me one by one and perform a cunnilingus.
I kept my eyes closed. I was ashamed to look at them. I felt the first tongue on my vagina. The guards were very strict and instructed the woman who was doing it to do it properly. They were insistent that women take out their tongues as much as they could and rub it thoroughly on my vagina as hard as they could. When they were pleased with the first person’s performance, they ordered the second one to start, and this went on.
I was ordered to hold my legs apart as much as I could and moan for them, which I did. I wasn’t looking, but realized from their reactions that my performance was satisfying, and continued until all ten women licked me.
When we were finally done, the guards told us that from then on, that will be our life routine. We were taken to the dormitory, which was designed for keeping poultry, while none of us was willing or able to talk about what had happened.
